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Top Ten Ways to be Like Me

Color your hair–Not my color. Not her color. If someone’s doing it, be bold!

Tan. Tan. Tan.–No good girl leaves the house pasty.

Get contacts–Glasses are for chicks with mohawks!

Hide the retainer well–Beautiful teeth are essential but no one must know.

Use as much eyeliner and mascara as you can–Eyes are the windows into the soul so frame them

Find some serviceable falsies and pencil in those eyebrows–Eyes, eyes, eyes!

Get your hoochie lips on–Luscious lips lead to loving.

Take a long, steamy shower–Environmentalism is for slobs!

Show off that neck–Pretty necks lead to pecks that lead to marks to hide.

Get a well-connected job, find a husband, get married, and retire–This is how the real world works!!

Later!

 

 

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