Since I will be in Brazil for the next 5 weeks I was asked to blog for the Augie Globalog. This is where students who are studying abroad update people on their travels. Since I’m also keeping my own personal blog I’ve decided that this blog will be dedicated more to updates about my senior year i.e. job or internship prospects, classes I’m taking, things along those lines.
A few weeks back I found a doula internship in Minneapolis. The page didn’t have a lot of details but I bookmarked it for future reference. Well last week when I got on a streak with doula work I sent the director an email asking for details. Up until yesterday I had forgotten about the email, but then I got a response from the director. She said that another program is opening in June 2015, right in time for me to come home. The guidelines for the doula internship are:
- Attending at least 1 birth per month
- Preferably have witnessed at least one birth previous to the internship’s start
- Are certified or are certifying by a recognized doula organization
Those are requirements that I can easily complete before I move back to MN! So now I may have an internship set up for the summer. It’s not a full time job or anything, but it’s definitely something that will get me heading in the right direction to the birth community!
Hey fellow vikings and HAPPY FALL!
It has been way too long since i’ve written so heres an update on everything thats happened since winter (?!) of last year:
I actually went through the rushing process and am now a member of Zeta Phi Kappa
At the same time I joined the music fraternity Sigma Alpha Iota
I had an internship with the Upper Mississippi Studies center for the summer and subleased a house in Rock Island for my first experience living on my own
I took a two week long course on local flora and learned a lot while living at one of Augie’s field stations.
Overall my summer was spent learning a ton of new things to help contribute to my knowledge of urban ecology to help my environmental studies major. This year has brought new challenges and opportunities as well.I’m currently working on a research project on rain gardens that will eventually be my summer research and could potentially evolve into my SI which is amazing to say as a sophomore. Academically, since returning to Augie, I’ve had to relearn the art of time management since I’m currently taking three courses with labs as well as one lecture. I’m not going to lie, its been pretty rough but I’ve fell into my niche and now managing the coursework is becoming easier with each passing week. It’s crazy how fast things move when you come back. I can’t believe that last week was midterms and homecoming is next week. I’ve been working hard with my sorority on learning everything for our sing and yell routines and I cannot wait to see what the other amazing greek groups have come up for their routines this year! Happy week six to all and hopefully I’ll return with a homecoming update.
I was recently at a funeral with people whom I had not seen since I was in high school so there was a lot of catching up to do. I can’t tell you how many times I had the following conversation:
- Where are you studying? Augustana just across the river in Rock Island (the funeral was in Davenport)
- When do you graduate? In February!
- What are you studying? Political science…
- Oh so you’re going to law school? No. And Sociology, and Women and Gender Studies
- What are you going to do with that? I’m not really sure right now. I’m applying for jobs in fields with family and youth and community development. I wrote one of my senior papers on student attitudes towards parental leave policies, so I’m really interested in family relations, development, and health. I also really would like to become a certified labor and postpartum doula.
- What’s a doula? A doula is essentially a birth attendant. Doula’s don’t deliver babies, they are there for the emotional and physical support of the mother and her partner.
It was around the fourth or fifth time that I was having this conversation when my godmother walked over and said “Victoria wants to save the world one person at a time. She always has wanted to help people.” I can’t tell you how much that meant to me. Because it’s true, I have always wanted to help people. As a child I wanted to be a doctor. I even came to Augustana as an intended pre-med major. However, I realized that by being a doctor I wouldn’t be serving people and developing as much as a connection as I desire.
After spending most of my college years trying to figure out what I want to do I think I have finally figured it out. Well sort of. I know that I want to be part of the birth community. I am absolutely fascinated by what our bodies can do and the immense power that women have. I say women because 99.99% of the time a person who identifies as a female is delivering a child, though there are individuals who are transgender that can have children. But I digress.
I have finally decided that I want to be part of the birth community. I want to be there to support other people who are going through this extremely emotional and physical process. I want to welcome new lives in to the world. I want to be there to support families in the event that they deliver an angel baby. I just want to work with families.
However, just because I’ve chosen a field I want to work in doesn’t mean that I magically have a job. I’ve decided that one of my best options at this point is to become a certified labor/birth and postpartum doula. While the certification process differs between certifying agencies and organizations there is a similar path that you follow. This requires going through training classes, becoming educated on the many aspects of birth, going to childbirth education classes, and many more educational components. From there you develop a plan and start attending births, supporting mothers through their journey. The certification path also includes taking a test on the knowledge that you’ve gained and doing different research “projects” to continue your education. The final steps are interviews that the certifying agency conducts with your clients in order to ensure that you have met the needs of the client and then an interview with you, since after all you are the one training to be a birth professional!
I thought I’d share with you what our dorm looks like (in Westerlin).
I have to admit that the thought of moving to college kind of scared me sometimes, especially the thought of sharing a room with a stranger. Lucky me, I got the best roommate ever.
And look how cozy we have made it! It’s so relaxing to come home to this dorm after a long and stressful day (I guess we can ignore that fact that right now, the room looks like a total catastrophe, but as we all now; the things you can’t see on social media, doesn’t happen in real life).
Exactly one week from now I will be in Brazil! Maybe I will be walking on the beach or maybe I will be snug in my bed. Either way I will be in Rio de Janeiro getting ready to begin the international portion of my study abroad trip through Augustana!
I will do everything I can to keep this blog updated, but I can’t make any promises. After all, I’ll be in Brazil taking in the beautiful beaches and the amazing culture and the sunshine!
Last Saturday, the Office of Student Life arranged a trip to Chicago for us students.
Being an international student, this was so exciting, especially since we had never been to Chicago before, nor ever seen a Major League baseball game. The day turned out to be fantastic. I can’t wait to explore Chicago more!
Since I was born in Stockholm (the capital of Sweden) I’m such a city girl. But it wasn’t until I moved away from the city, when I truly realized how much I had loved it. With that in mind, I know this it will probably be the same case here. Even with the tremendous amount of homework and late nights of studying, I know that I will be missing this place a lot when I get home in May. So with that said, let’s enjoy this fantastic year ahead of us!
“College is the best time of your life. When else are your parents going to spend several thousand dollars a year just for you to go to a strange town and get drunk every night?”
― David Wood
“I imagine that one of the biggest troubles with colleges is there are too many distractions, too much panty-raiding, fraternities, and boola-boola and all of that.”
― Malcolm X
“No period of my life has been one of such unmixed happiness as the four years which have been spent within college walls.”
― Horatio Alger
There are a lot of quotes out there that a similar to the above. A lot of people will say “College is the best time in your life! Enjoy it! Don’t stress! You should be having fun!” However, now that I am in to my senior year I am not so sure these statements are true. Don’t get me wrong, I have enjoyed college, but it’s not all fun and games like movies, society, and pop culture make it seem. In fact, I would describe college as the four years that I’ve been the most internally conflicted.
College has torn me apart; not torn me down, but apart. I have struggled with so many decisions in college; decisions where I could see myself as being happy in both outcomes, both choices having similar pros and cons, the choices being fairly opposite of each other.
From day one of college I was conflicted. I came to Augustana intending to be a pre-med or pre-PA major. By the time I actually started classes I was 99% sure that I didn’t want to be a doctor any more. However, I had no idea what I did want to be. During my freshman year I bounced around from history, to psychology, back to pre-med, over to sociology, then prepared for education, before deciding none of those felt right.
Then there was the decision on whether I was going to even come back for spring term at Augustana my first year. By the time Week 10 of winter term rolled around I was exhausted in all senses of the word and I’d had a rough year. I had attended 2 funerals already. I had gotten a D during my first term of college. I was constantly sick. I had no idea how I was paying for college. I had just been diagnosed with a chronic back problem. I didn’t want to be at Augustana anymore. I told my mom I wasn’t returning after spring break and that I would take a medical leave, given my back condition. I was set on it. Then I realized how much I would miss the friends I made. How much I would hate working when my friends were in class. So I returned for spring term and I just kept coming back.
Sophomore year was back to the decision of what to major in. I had determined pre-med was officially out and that I wanted to go with education. Then I got back on campus and decided I definitely did not want to do education, but what else was there? Yes, we have tons of majors, but I could find a reason to rule everything out. Pre-anything? I couldn’t handle the chem classes. Psych? Didn’t love it like I did in high school. Languages? I could barely get through Spanish in high school. Art? I can’t art to save my life. I had an excuse for everything and I was feeling the pressure to declare. I think I was the last person from my peer mentor group to declare a major. However, with the help of my first-year advisor and through taking some awesome classes I finally decided on Political Science and Sociology. The rest of sophomore was pretty easy sailing, thank goodness!
Junior year brought another round of conflict. I was balancing two majors. I wanted to add a minor. Everyone kept asking me “What are you going to do with political science, sociology with a concentration in social welfare, and women and gender studies?” I told them I was going to join the Peace Corps. I was also thinking about going in to student affairs, given my experience as a CA and as part of Residence Hall Association. However, I threw both of those ideas to the curb too. Though I really wanted to join the Peace Corps and knew that there was no better time than after college, I realized that joining the Peace Corps would put me half way around the world from my niece and nephews, that I could be hundreds of miles from the nearest volunteer, that I may not be able to accommodate my medical needs in the ways that I am accustomed to. I also decided that with student affairs I didn’t feel that I could pursue my dream of having a large family and living out in the country in the future. So I spent a lot of time job searching. Most jobs indicated that a Master’s degree was preferred. Did I want a Master’s degree? Maybe. Did I want to pursue it immediately following college? No way! I was burnt out on school. Now I was left with two majors and a minor and no idea where I wanted to work in the future.
Then came my senior inquiry. I was given the opportunity to be part of the pilot program for the new political science senior inquiry process. However, that meant I would need to start winter term of my junior year. That seemed like a huge task. What was a going to write about? What was I passionate about to give a year of my life to researching and writing about? Families? Babies? College life? Politics? I decided on parental leave policies because I am passionate about families and babies and leave policies affect both.
The end of junior year, it’s time to think about graduating. When am I going to graduate? When can I graduate? Can I graduate early? How much money will I save? What am I going to do when I graduate? What summer classes am I going to take? Am I going to take summer classes? How will I pay for them? I decided to take summer classes; it would save me thousands of dollars by allowing me to graduate early. By graduating a term early I would be able to start to work more sooner in order to begin to make progress towards my debt resolution.
And now I’m a senior. I have 1 2/3 terms left of college. How do I spend my nights? Researching jobs. Thinking about what I actually want to do when I graduate versus what society thinks I should do. Do I follow my passion (birth, families, gender issues)? Or do I pursue a paycheck than can cover the tens of thousands of dollars in loans that I’ve taken out? I spend my time calculating a budget. I spend it looking over my calendar, trying to see if I can fit in more hours. My internal thought process is like this,
“Well I don’t have class on Friday this week so I can swing in to the office and let them know I can pick up a shift. But at the same time I really want a few hours to relax. But I’m already working 6-8am and then 2-6pm, so what’s a 10am-1pm shift going to hurt? Oooh, but then I do work 9am-5pm on Saturday, so there goes a couple hours. Then I’m definitely going to want to take a nap. I should also squeeze in a time to do homework. Oh and maybe a time to work out. However, if I spend this time working what will I going to eat? Do I have food ready that I can grab and eat on the go?”
This conversation can go in circles for hours. I don’t know that there’s ever a resolution. Sure I can work 30+ hours a week off campus while going to school full time and spending hours driving from place to place, but is that really the way I want to live. The answer right now is yes. I’ve become so accustomed to this go go go lifestyle that I don’t know what else to do. Then I come home and I worry about a job again. Now the post-grad plan questions come more frequently. “Victoria, you’re graduating early, you must have a plan in mind. What are you going to do?” Well that’s a great question. Where do I start?
With this year by year breakdown it is easy to see that there are struggles in college. Maybe others can play this off with much more ease than myself, but I micro-manage everything. I need to know the answers to every question I have. I need reassurance that I am making the right choice/doing the right thing/pursuing the right option.
The new question is when do I pursue more education? I’ve spent the last 11 years pushing myself to be the best student that I can be. Getting the good grades. Participating in sports. Having a job. Taking the advanced courses and the overloaded terms. I don’t want to do more homework. I want college to be the end of homework for a while. But I also want to go in to work that requires more certifications; certifications that I can’t get at school. I wonder if college really was the right choice for me. If I’m going to be a doula and then perhaps pursue midwifery, was it worth it to spend all that money on a liberal arts education? If I had had these plans 4 years ago when I was in high school could I already be making money, having a job, doing what I’m passionate about? No. I wasn’t passionate about the birth process 4 years ago. So no Victoria, you did need this experience to grow as an individual. To find what you care about, because that happens when you take courses from almost all the departments.
I realize that this is a long post, but it’s one that I’ve been thinking about and drafting in my mind for a while. It’s not meant to scare you, but it’s meant to show you the reality of college. That’s the whole point to the blog, to show what college is really like. I happen to be a realist, or as my mother likes to say a “real pessimist”, but I think I just tell things like they are. I don’t see the world as rainbows and butterflies, there are also thunderstorms and fires, but it’s in the hard moments that we learn the most.
The city of Denver and I seem to like staying up late together.
Tonight were sharing a wonderful tapestry of a conversation.
Tonight, I am told that tomorrow will bring dull conversations about the weather were having.
Tonight, I begin sketches in my notebook concerning my plot to build an ant farm in the middle of my apartment. The realist in me knows this is a terrible plan and yet the Faustian devil prevails in shattering logic. I’ve only gotten to the part about leaving crumbs everywhere and not cleaning them up. It’s become less of a stable farm and more of a chaotic free for all. Regardless, the scenario plays out splendidly in my head. Rancid smells encumber the apartment. The process is largely pointless besides giving my life a clear enemy. Thousands of ants come to my apartment expecting an easy meal. Entitled to it simply because the food and them exist together. I let the ants enjoy their meal for a few days. I study their patterns and object to the impulses raging inside me that scream for me to smash them all with a boot. I choose to forego chemical warfare as I deem it unsatisfactory to the competition of the fittest. Boredom is a beautiful muse as it has allowed the universe to bring us all together in this apartment. An army of ants in my house I’ll have a task at hand. These hands were not meant to sit idle.
I’ll catch certain ants, ants I deem more important than the rest based upon previous observation. They will have names, I’ve decided on using strictly Aaron Spelling sitcom characters. These ants will be used as a way to break bread with the rest of the colony and show them that perhaps we can coexist.
The conversation between me and myself lulls me out of the lucid daydream I began to exist in.
Nobody is there to tell me it’s a terrible plan.
Nobody is there to tell me they’re all going to laugh at you.
Tonight puts on tomorrow’s clothes. I am sleeping awake, counting red lights like sheep, waiting for the next time I’ll get to talk to myself.
I’m not sure where I heard the phrase, “Shakespeare never tweeted a sonnet,” but it must’ve been my favorite thing yet. I would think the phrase is saying that it’s difficult to picture someone so ancient doing something so modern. Therefore, it’s difficult to picture someone so modern to do something so ancient. I mean what teen will take a selfie nowadays with those disposable cameras our parents used to take with on our field trips? Not a whole bunch. As time progresses, things change. I get that, but the modernism I’m tackling here includes social media and the information we take in on a daily basis. One of the courses I’m currently taking really made me think about this. Seriously, do we actually intake useful information on a daily basis that is important in knowing about the world around us?
From social networks such as Twitter, Vine, Instagram, Facebook, and Tumblr, how many hours a day do you spend scrolling? Some users are hardcore and scroll for miles, but there are some that just check if they have notifications and call it a day. I’m aiming at you users with a tab open for each individual social media site you got yourself into. From my news feeds, my friends/followers usually share pop culture related posts; nothing really informative, but entertaining nonetheless. A lot of my friends declare that news are boring and dry and has nothing to do with them. But when the tables turn my friend, pop culture news and that really cute cat video also has nothing to do with you; it simply entertains you. I mean, everyone is free to share what they want, post what they want, and so forth, but be aware of what most things stand for. I don’t know if it’s a generation thing or what, but it’s definitely something.
I’m actually a large hypocrite as I’m a constant tweeter myself, but I’m just exploring this dynamic I see everywhere. How many teens right now actually know about what’s happening with the world? And I mean really happening with the world. Like international affairs and issues being faced by our country. Not a lot. Why is that? Is it because of the advancement in technology that allows us to filter and intake what we want? I’m not saying you’re a bad person if you decide to read the article about Kim Kardashian over an article about serious politics, but I am saying to ask yourself why that’s the course of events. Saying “oh that’s just boring” isn’t going to cut it. How many of the retweets, reblogs, and revines are you going to have to make to rethink about what you’re learning and not learning online?