Anytime you have a rough day this week.
Imagine these guys being confused by things.
Comment with your own captions.
Winner gets the internet.
A window inside life at Augustana College
Tesia Kolodziejczyk is an enigma amongst names and people alike. Some may know her as a member of the Phi Rho Nation, some may know her as a dancer, others may know her as a dancer abducted in a film made by Alvin Fonseca. I know her as a tiny dancer who holds this valentine candy shaped heart of mine near and dear to her post-Christmas-is-amazing Grinch sized heart. She hails from the same wonderful state as I. Colorado, in all of its splendor produced this woman and the rocky mountains effectively setting free two caged doves with one stone.
Tesia is an extremely smart person and although she carries a soft demeanor and is kind to all animals, she is powered by vengeance. Be careful not to cross her path or you will feel the revenge of the nerd. Get to know her.
GM:What brought you to Augustana?
TK: Gary Miller. ( Gary Miller has that effect on people)
What advice do you have for incoming Freshmen?
Meet Gary Miller.
What are you involved in on campus?
Phi Rho Sorority President; Co-Chair of the Honor Council
What are some hidden talents you have?
I can eat an entire package of Oreos in one sitting.
What is your spirit animal?
Garfield. I’m lazy AF.
What is your greatest fear and why?
Getting in an accident on a bridge, going off the side, and drowning in my car because I can’t get out. Will somebody PLEASE buy me one of those window cracker things?
Do you have a nickname and why?
T-bird. I thank Sally Kenney for that one. Probably because I’m a 1950’s greaser at heart.
Who do you fear is really a robot on campus?
The Viking Pups. They’re too cute to be real.
Would you like to give me a dollar?
See answer to lemonade question below.
Favorite holiday and why?
Thanksgiving. SO much food that my fat pants don’t even fit. And I’m okay with it.
Favorite sports team and why?
Denver Broncos, because Tim Tebow used to play for them and he’s a babe.
Favorite type of Oreos
All oreos. Is this even a question?
Have you studied abroad and if not where?
Not yet, but in a few short months I’ll be living the high life in Rome.
You have an evil cat (they’re all evil) threatening your life. How you allegorically kill it nine times?
I actually do have an evil cat, her name is Savannah and she is black and fluffy and hates me.
I would pick her up in my arms and sing Sheldon Cooper’s “Soft Kitty” nine times over. I’m pretty sure I take a year off her life every time I do this anyways.
IF you were trapped in the wilds of Alaska with one person to survive the winter who would it be and what item would you bring?
If I was trapped, I would bring Gary Miller. He’s a grizzly man, I wouldn’t need anything else.
What’s the toughest class you’ve ever had?
The Art of Listening.
Just Kidding. It was Physical Chemistry
What is your major and minor?
Biochemistry and Pre-Medicine, with a minor in Chemistry.
Will you enjoy a glass of lemonade from me, it is only a nickel and I need to help pay off tuition.
Actually, I’ll give you a dollar.
What is Greek life like?
I don’t know much about world economics, but from what I hear, it’s a rough place to be right now.
P.S. Gary Miller is my favorite person of all time. I’m going to marry him one day.
Thanks for reading.
I am a man with too much time on his hands. With that time I daydream. The mind races and thinks the same way a child speaks after a sugar fueled Christmas binge. Their little bodies downing sugar like a downtrodden Tony Montana downs daddy sugar. Sometimes thoughts shoot into a person’s brain and they seem utterly insignificant until the obvious question comes along, if it’s insignificant why is it on one’s mind? My two and five year old cousins, two ferocious rolling balls of destructive cuteness, think everything is amazing. Everything is amazing and should feel amazing to them because it’s brand new. They have yet to grow as cynical as their twenty-two year old cousin who cries every time he watches Forrest Gump. Little Forrest Gump Jr. tugs on my heart strings like they were made of Greek ethos and he is yo-yo ma. The point is I hate most everything, its how I enjoy life. I’m happiest when I’m miserable, I find the misery in everything. It’s a gift seeing the glass full of stuff I’m going to drink even though I was told not too. Everything is amazing and I say that thinking of an old videogame called Primal Rage. I didn’t know the name of it other than that “videogame where the apes and dinosaurs fought like Mortal Kombat during the early 90’s fight game craze”. After scouring the internet like a person with the world at his fingertips should, I found it.
The coolest thing I could ever see as a kid was a toy from a show I watched or a video game I played. I’m sure I gained some amount of charisma from attempting to charm my parents into buying whatever flavor of the minute toy I was into during my early walking years. Walking by Primal Rage toys came to my mind and it occurred to me how easy it is to market to children. That’s my realization for the day. One of those light bulb moments from a cartoon that takes a long time to light up, like understanding what a cliché means but not really understanding it because you have no life experience in that matter yet. Then one day something happens along those lines and you let out a big, “ooooooooooooh, I get it now, time on his hands! Clocks tell time and they have hands! ” while sipping an iced Frappuccino from Mcdonalds because we’re not going to Starbucks this week hombre.
If that analogy doesn’t cut it for you, its like me pronouncing potpourri with the T until I was thirteen. I also pronounced Yosemite like vegemite until I was around eight. Took me a while. I won the school spelling bee in sixth grade on the word “missile toe”.
Also For the rest of this year I will be accepting and also handing out weekly challenges for myself from others. Triple dog dare me to do stuff and I’ll most likely do it.
For example, one of these weeks I will be living in my car off of an allotted amount of canned goods and bottled water. I will only be allowed to access Academic buildings and Carver. Swimming do-gooder and alumni Justin Reppy wanted me to do it last year for charity. I don’t know how that was going to work out but I’m still game. We spit in our hands and shook on it so I have to do it.
Party on Augie.
I met Ben before we even set foot in a classroom. Getting to know him through football and living as a 1J warrior in Westerlin has been a pleasure. Some of Ben’s accolades as an athlete at Augustana include lettering all four years, being named Team Captain, and he is the recipient of the Jerry Freck Award. The Jerry Freck award is selected by the coaching staff to honor the player who has done the most to overcome obstacles and shown great perseverance.
I know the following about Ben: He is a great conversationalist, his mother packs him scented sprays that allegedly improve studying habits, he has a girlfriend, he can run surprisingly fast for a man with two legs made of balsa wood, his girlfriend enjoys his subpar cooking and his excellent diction. Get to know Ben a little better.
GM: What brought you to Augustana?
BH: Athletics is originally what brought me to Augustana. I was recruited to play football and was also presented with the opportunity to run track. From day one my life has been immersed in athletic competition, so I couldn’t imagine giving it up. After spending my first night on campus for a recruiting visit I knew this is where I wanted to be. I was shown the time of my life at Forsetti House and met awesome people. On top of that, I really enjoyed the campus environment and the idea of being at a small school where the professors knew who you were.
What advice do you have for incoming Freshmen?
Advice to incoming freshmen: while you don’t need to decide what you want to do with your life immediately, don’t assume you’ll have all the time in the world. College is a great way to explore the world and the opportunities that come from it; explore life in college, but don’t drift through it. Search for what you may want to do after college while also thinking seriously about the options you have. Step out of your comfort zone, try new things, and decide what’s right for you. As long as you keep embracing new experiences and recognizing opportunity, you will continue making strides to discovering what your life might be. It’s true you don’t need to choose your life or career path the second you arrive at school. Hell, you might spend two full years in college and still not know. But don’t mistake four years for 10. The sooner you start to seriously think about what you want get from life or what you want to make a career out of the better off you’ll be.
Who is your favorite mountain man from the early frontier days of the United States? What many people don’t know, but should, is that the mountain men of the early American frontier are solely responsible for shaping the country we live in today. Everywhere we look, if examine closely, we can begin to peel back the shades of time and uncover the significant contributions made by these glorious gentlemen. Such a man went by the name of John Colter. Colter invented what modern day college aged Americans term the ‘Naked Mile’. Except in Colter’s case, he spent 11 naked days in the mountain west fleeing from the attack of the Blackfoot Indian tribe.
What is your greatest fear and why?
My greatest fear is of heights because I don’t have wings or any natural means for surviving a high altitude fall.
Duck, Duck, Goose?
Goose, you flying (he didn’t saying flying but I won’t tell on him) idiot.
What do you think the biggest difference is between you now and who you were when you first came to Augustana?
I feel much more cultured and knowledgeable about the world as a whole now compared to when I first came to Augustana.
Alice Cooper once said, “school’s out for summer, school’s out forever” do you think he should be running an elementary school in Texas? I don’t think he is but I definitely endorse it.
I think everyone deserves a fair chance to run an elementary school in Texas.
The sheriff, obviously.
Have you studied abroad and if not where would you want to go? I had the privilege and opportunity to spend a week in France with the Augustana College football team as we prepared to take on the French national team. While this may not have been a study abroad trip per se, I learned about many of the differences that exist between American and French culture. I was able to experience the unique ways of French dining and also got to meet many people born and raised in the country. It was amazing to hear how many people spoke English fluently, which made getting around the towns much easier.
You have an evil cat (they’re all evil) threatening your life. How you Creatively kill it nine times?
Thanks for your insight Ben and thanks for reading.
An email went out today from the Student Government here at Augustana at 12:50 p.m. saying that the IT department here at Augustana has finally banned the use of the social media app, known as Yik Yak, from use on the Augustana internet. All of this transpired because there were offensive/ racist posts put on Yik Yak that garnered the attention of the BSU (Black Student Union) and Student Government.
To me, this is an outrage that the actions of a few have ultimately decided the use of an app for all.
Yes, the racist posts on Yik Yak were awful, but as soon as they were posted, they were down-voted to nonexistence by the Yik Yak community, showing that the Augustana community doesn’t condone such posts. Also, we have no evidence to say that a student was behind the event. We can only assume that it was, but it could have been a local who also used the app.
So because of these comments, Augustana has banned the only use of discussion for race that I have seen so far on this campus. The app allowed users to have discussions about their thoughts about the protest on Monday, Dec. 15th. I saw rational ideas about race in America, race on campus, and race in general. While there were negative posts, I was encouraged that students were in on the discussion.
The anonymity of the app allowed people to display their points without being labelled as a racist and being marked in a negative way. Yik Yak deserves a place here on campus because it can show views that the Augustana community to can resolve, rather than ignore it by banning the app.
Hey everyone, I’ve been gone for a little bit of time. So much has transpired since the last time I posted. I’m with WAUG, SAGA literary magazine, and am a member on the Observer. I recommend to anyone not involved with WAUG to get involved because it’s a blast and you can be on the radio. I also recommend anyone to be on the Observer. Building people skills is a great asset that working for the Observer helps build. Anyway I’ll be trying more to blog more and be more active. Have a great week everyone!
“I want to make sketch video”
“I have a really good story, but I don’t know what to do with it”
“I really want to try acting”
“I would love to write a book”
“I want to start making a film”
“I have an idea for this movie where an adventurer, maybe an astronaut, gets lost on the way to going on said adventure but in turn finds that the mundane existence of the day to day is an adventure. The adventurer no longer seeks to carve his name into the annals of history to find meaning, cozying up at home with a loved one is the greatest adventure of all. But there will be lots of boobs, rippling abdominal muscles, explosions and weasels. it will be cool, my dad said he’d help fund it. He owns a Nissan dealership”
If you have uttered anything close to the mentioned quotations I seem to hear frequently, then call me Ron Burgundy because I have splendid news for you. This institution we all know and love as, “Augustana” offers up some fine tools for the creative savant in waiting to participate in. A couple of these opportunities are SAGA art and literary magazine and Black Squirrel Productions. These clubs need members and submissions, don’t feel scared to get involved! Think of them as a finely sharpened axe stuck in a stump with it’s handle eyeing you to grab it and swing away at the forest of self-doubt in the hands of a non-gender specific lumberjack, with a great beard and sweet steel-toed boots. You’re lookin’ good and feelin good.
Why yes, of course! SAGA is the literary and art magazine here at “Augustana” and is accepting submissions in three separate fields for publishing: Art, Poetry, and Prose.
“What does this mean for me”
It means the existence of the magazine is dependent on YOU. SAGA wants to publish student work, whether it be poetry in all it’s beauty, prose in all its power, and art in all its courage.
“cowardly dog inside of us would like us to not submit things for fear of criticism”
Rest assured! all documents have their names removed and are critiqued in an objective fashion. Pieces that aren’t selected are even returned to the artist with their critiques, so as the artist can improve on a piece if they feel.
“HOW DO I SUBMIT MY ART?!”
At ease my friend, email SAGAmagazine@gmail.com with the following.
Title(s) of piece(s) (each with a short description of the inspiration, subject matter, materials used, etc.)
Contributor’s note: What do you want those who read SAGA magazine to know about you as a contributor?
SAGA accepts up to 7 submissions in each category, with a preference for word document and jpeg for photos. Physical submissions for art will have their photo taken and will be accepted for submission.
“my body is a wonderland, is that art?”
If you take a picture I guess?
“thanks! I’m not even an artist is that ok”
Yes, everyone has something to offer, everybody has a story to tell.
You exist, you mean something, share it.
“What about Black Squirrel Productions?”
Get in on this fun train on its way out of boredomville! Oh yes!
Well, Black Squirrel Productions is a brand new club on campus specializing in film production, whether it be sketch, short, documentary, music videos, or anything you can think of they aim to do it. They meet on odd Thursdays in Olin generally at 4:30. Check your emails for updates and email BSPAugustana@gmail.com to get involved. The end of the year will culminate with a student film fest premiering student made work. The exciting news is BSP received a budget this year, look out for things to improve as last year over two hours of film was produced on a shoe string budget paid out of pocket by students.
You’re welcome, be thankful you’re not dealing with the devil.
This is my last term at Augustana. In just 13.5 weeks, or 96 days, I will be officially graduated from Augustana College.
I can’t believe how fast time has flown by; sometimes it seems like just yesterday that I was trekking back to the third floor of Erickson after a long day of classes and swim practice. Now I’m trudging up the stairs of my off campus house after a long day of class and two off campus jobs.
So let’s talk a little about what I have going on this term. In order to graduate you need 123 credits, I currently have 109 credits. This means order to graduate at the end of this term I am taking 14 credits. Now my mother doesn’t seem to think this will be any difficulty because she thinks the class I’m taking are easy. However, it doesn’t matter what classes you take, 14 credits is still a lot; especially because a normal credit load is between 8 and 12. So here’s what I’m taking this term:
In case you want to know what my schedule looks like, here’s a screenshot of my Google Calendar. Notice there are time’s where things overlap. There are also things that aren’t on this calendar yet because I don’t know when they will be.
Outside of going to class and work, I am also in the process of looking for jobs in Minnesota, doing homework, and trying to have a semblance of a social life.
Fall term had dealt me a hand of four courses, three lab periods and rehearsals Monday through Thursday evenings. Needless to say, it was crazy.
That was me after a lab that I had struggled with for like three hours: my group did well in the end though!
I last left off with homecoming around the corner and heres the recap of the week:
Zeta Phi Kappa participated in yell and it was fun being able to see all the greek groups put their best stop forward and show some greek pride!
The next event on the agenda was SING!
(photo courtesy of Hannah Buto)
We had placed in third and it too was an awesome way to get to bond with my sisters better and show off some Augie pride!
(Photo courtesy of Shylee Garrett)
SAI (my music sorority) held our annual Alumnae tea which was a ton of fun and I had a great time meeting some of our alumni and hearing the stories of Augie’s past
After the tea, my friends and I had decided to take a break and visit an apple orchard to go apple picking, needless to say it may be our new annual fall tradition!
(Photo Courtesy of Elizabeth Kupar)
After homecoming week I celebrated my 20th birthday and got to appreciate some of Augies AMAZING fall scenery
SAI also hosted a pumpkin carving contest with PMA
(Photo courtesy of Shylee Garrett)
(we may have given up in the end)
That same weekend Zeta Phi Kappa held our annual semiformal to celebrate our birthday so we got all dolled up and spent the night dancing and celebrating our values and our sisterhood
and finally following the weekend of semiformal was Halloween where I made a costume as a (tree?)/ fall!
Finals had gone better than anticipated and I had made the deans list for fall term which was the great way to end my first term of the year. I then worked the ILMEA music festival before spending a much needed week of rest with my family.
(mommy and me on our sushi date!)
Winter term is way more relaxed with only three courses and a seminar. Im now working on preparing tour literature for Augustana Symphonic Band’s gulf coast tour at the end of the term and I’m looking forward to seeing how my classes end up. So far, there seem to be a ton of cool projects that we’re doing to help the community while learning important aspects to land use and planning which is why I decided to be a Geography and Environmental Studies major. Good luck to all on winter term and stay warm!