A window inside life at Augustana College

Did You Know That in Kentucky a KFC is Also A Bed and Breakfast?

The weekend before Buckethead I had the opportunity to go to the 38th Humana Festival of New Plays in Louisville, Kentucky. There was an assortment of wonderful theatre, the Louisville Actors Studio was an amazing place to visit. I believe I went there a simple uncultured troglodyte and came back a rational human being with a  greater insight into the human condition. My mind was opened finally. No longer would I live my life in the allegorical Plato’s cave. No longer would I listen to Moby.

A rare side effect of becoming cultured is a Kuato growing out of your stomach.

A rare side effect of becoming cultured is a Kuato growing out of your stomach.

That being said I was a little upset about one thing in particular. Besides my wonderful bourbon fueled adventure through out the city of Louisville, everything went according to plan. I was hoping for a little more action. I love theatre and the experience was quite fun, but I was hoping to get into a bar fight with Civil war reenactors. My goal the entire week was to find a group of southern civil war reenactors and rise my way up their ranks through our shared hatred of the New York Yankees and Slavery. Through the use of a dating app on someone’s smartphone I could then make the northern leader think that he was going on a date. I would then find the southern leader and tell him that the northern leader planned on dating his sister. If he doesn’t have a sister, anything else would suffice. The two factions would then meet at the Down One Bourbon Bar where a raucous bar fight would start, with a bluegrass band playing in the background.

Lead

Eventually an Abraham Lincoln impersonator would step into the foray stopping the fight and admonishing us for our childlike behavior. The south would be declared the victors of the fight though, with four score and seven beers to go!

We would then sing Chumbawumba’s “Tubthumping” all night long until I had to leave.

That moment didn’t happen.

Anyways, Last Comic Standing is this weekend from 5 to 6:30 p.m. in the CSL, come if you like fart jokes I’m sure everyone there has a lot of them. You might even get some professional wrestlers to make an appearance. Heywire will even be performing during the show. Reviews of the comedy group are along the lines of,

“funny” and

“wow, please get me another chocolate milk, that Paul Landahl sure has a pretty face.”

If you go, perhaps the professional wrestlers will make an appearance.

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