A window inside life at Augustana College

Do you suffer from bargain-itis?

You know you’ve done it. You bought that thing that you REALLY didn’t really need and will probably never use…ever. Why? All because it was ON SALE NOW!! For a broke college kid, the side-effects of contracting bargain-itis can be crippling…and they need to be stopped. You do not have money to throw around and yet you probably catch yourself buying stupid crap all the time. A pair of 4 inch cranberry pumps in a size-too-small that will make you into a 6’1 Amazon and give you no chance of walking are 50% off? Fantastic. In the cart. A sweater that you’re almost positive will shrink weird in the wash and you’ll  never wear again for $7.99? You didn’t want coffee this week anyways.

^why can’t you write a song about your sweater-washing methods? seriously, do you see that neck??

And while you love hate Target as much as the next person, you never know how the “dollar” section takes half a tenth of the money your parents gave you for groceries almost every time. A little rug with flowers on it that would look awkward no matter where you put it because it’s so tiny? A tinsel headband with bells? A little calendar with puppies on it? A 5 pack of mini loofahs? You wanted to be like, REALLY clean this week anyways, so $3 seems pretty reasonable… Then all of a sudden it’s Wednesday night and you refuse to stop talking about Taco Bell until you’ve downed at least 2 chalupas. You look in your wallet expecting to see the beautiful face of Andrew Jackson, but the only thing staring back at you is your receipt from 2 days ago.  

DAMN YOU, BARGAIN-ITIS!!!

 

^you.

If this sounds familiar, please know that you are not alone. Many people suffer from bargain-itis, unaware that all of their random, unnecessary possessions, empty wallets and empty stomachs are in fact the devastating side effects of this terrible condition. Just know that there is hope. Your room can become uncluttered, your wallet can contain more than 53 cents and a piece of paper and your late-night cravings can be satiated properly.

So, friends, the next time you’re pushing the old cart around, stop telling yourself you’re helping boost China’s economy and think of the delicious, hardly-able-to-be-described-as-Mexican food you could be cleaning out of your hair Thursday morning on your way to class. Trust me, you really don’t need that set of Easter-themed magnets and matching gel pens…

 

One Response to “Do you suffer from bargain-itis?”

  1. Too funny and so true.

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