A window inside life at Augustana College

How I have progressed… or not

As a part of my LSFY portfolio, I had to write about how I believed to have done in the class; sadly, I don’t think I did as well as I was capable. As a result, my self assessment wasn’t too kind. Since we were allowed to write in the form of poetry, I did just that in a style inspired by Bob Dylan’s “Last Thoughts on Woody Guthrie”

When you’re doing your worst at doing your best
and you’re getting 4 wrong on a 5 question test,
you speak with your teacher for some time after
to see you read the right section, just the wrong chapter.
 
So you say “I’ve been tricked! Man, I’ve been cheated”
when really it’s the value of your word that’s depleted
‘cuz you never had noticed that your talent retreated;
now the soul in the mirror is the same you defeated.
 
Now you’re lagging behind in a race you once led
and it’s killing you slowly when you’re lying in bed
‘cuz the thoughts come at once to get through the door
just to get stuck in the threshold some more.
Unless they get in order and straighten out quick,
develop a system to make it all stick,
you got nothing more than a gibbering wall
that knows nothing more than effectively stall.
 
Who’s really at fault?
Who do you blame?
The schooling you bought
or the parties that came?
 
So you curl up tightly in the shape you were baked
and pray leaving the womb wasn’t just a mistake.
You feel the rain coming from deep in your knees
and you find the demands are harder to please
and the only product of your gritting teeth
is an ink drenched page
with no meaning beneath.

In school, I’ve always shot for above average, but in this particular class, I only really did enough to get by. It’s shameful, but try to think of it as a sort of motivation to do better next term; I just hope it’ll work  :T

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