A window inside life at Augustana College

BLACK SQUIRREL PRODUCTIONS: EXTRAS NEEDED* UPDATED TIMES!

*UPDATED AND REVISED*

Sunday April 12th at 4 P.M. on the lower quad, 

you have the opportunity to be in a movie!

We are filming a ton of projects right now and one fun project happens to be called AUGIE HISTORY (working title)

We need extras for a fun scene that won’t take more than an hour to shoot and will be lots of fun to watch when its done.

We are calling for all Greek life members, athletes, girls, and guys to get together on the lower quad and have a giant battle.

Think Braveheart/Lord of the Rings/etc.

Feel free to wear your letters, dress as cowboys, wear paint, anything fun. Get a group together and wear something cool. Bring pillows to fight with, paddles, etc. We won’t actually be hitting each other so you can be creative. We heard through the grapevine that there will be a blender fight.

We will be meeting at

*3:30 on the Lower Quad to give a rundown and filming will start at 4 PM. If nobody shows up, we’ll CGI it with the limited budget we have. Basically, it would look like cardboard cutouts so were kind of begging you.*

Faculty is welcome too.

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Congrats to pledges almost being done.

“Savage” and “Fleek” and “Bae”…Oh My!

swag_006

Recently, while at dinner with a group of friends, someone mentioned how they were surprised by the new slang that kids are usin’ nowadays. We all harrumphed and chortled at the notion of these youngins and their semantics antics. Why were we laughing? Well, that’s yet to be determined, because from what I remember (which isn’t much due to the senility of old age ) we had some slang back in our heyday that definitely made our parents and grandparents think we were non compos mentis.

activate

So today, let’s all hop aboard Thomas the Train at Reading Railroad station (boarding at Platform 9  3/4)  on our way to Dragon Land as we travel safely through that horrendous no man’s land colloquially known as “Urban Dictionary”. At the end of our journey you’ll have an enriched vocabulary and maybe you’ll be “hip” and “with it”… but then again, maybe not. 

Savage

What we ( people 9 months-99 years old) would have said: Beast, Beast Mode, H.A.M., Cool

What our parents ( people who don’t age) would have said: Insane in the membrane, Postal, Nuts, Wacko, Crazy, Bad***, Cool

Actual definition of savage via the Merriam-Webster Dictionary: 

Savage2

Best Example of “Savage”

Fleek

What we would have said: on point, on deck, gorgeous, beautiful, hot, cute

What our parents would have said: gorgeous, beautiful, hot, cute, nifty

Actual definition of fleek via the Merriam-Webster Dictionary: UNKNOWN ( Peaches Monroe is credited with the creation of this word.)

Fleek 2

Best Example(s) of “Fleek”

595

bae

What we would say: honey, sweetheart, boyfriend, girlfriend, significant other, soul mate, best friend, boo, babe, baby, crush

What our parents would say: honey, sweetheart, boyfriend, girlfriend, significant other, soul mate, crush, best friend, boo, babe, baby, companion

Actual definition of Bae via the Merriam-Webster Dictionary:

* No, contrary to popular belief it doesn’t mean poop in Danish. I personally believe that cynical “bae”-less people are the ones who started the rumor. Words are fun, okay people? Don’t try to constrain people’s freedom of speech. Hippopotamus. Omicron. Zygote. Falafel. Bubble. Confectionery. Scuttle.

bae2

Best Example of “Bae”

O-Que-Significa-Bae

sqaud

What we would say: friends, besties, crew, group, people, best friends, random people I met at Starbucks

What our parents would say: friends, acquaintances, posse, gang, random people I met at the grocery store

Actual definition of squad via the Merriam-Webster dictionary:

squad1

Best Example(s) of “Squad”

turnt 2

turnt 1

What we would have said: crunk, turn up, wasted, faded, crazy

What our parents would have said: crazy, wild, having fun, “boys being boys”, “girls just wanna have fun”, “girls gone wild”,  insane, mad

Actual definition of turnt via the Merriam Webster Dictionary:

turnt

Good examples of “Turnt”

And that’s all I have for you folks… so, um yeah, now I’m off to do actual homework…

Current mood:

Until next time,

Tierra XOXO

Augustana People: Alex “Doesn’t Speak Using Vowels” Anderson

Alex is a kind hearted soul who spent the time to fill out every single question. I don’t often concede to someone being better at the internet than me, but Alex has proven time and time again he does it quite a bit better. I will let him do the talking on this one. However, it is best advised to read with this playing.

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Get to know him.

 

GM: What brought you to Augustana?

AA: My father and my coaches both influenced me on my decisions to choose Augustana. My overnight was a blast as well due to Carl “Peter peter pumpkin eater” Hartwig and Erik “grimelord” Westerburg. 

Pictured: Erik and Carl in official Augustana Viking football warmups

insane_clown_posse9

What advice do you have for incoming Freshmen?

Live it up while focusing on improving yourself as an individual

What are you involved in on campus?

I played football for three years then that stopped due to knee injuries. Currently I am involved with finishing my double major of Accounting/Finance and working at a local CPA firm.

What are some hidden talents you have? 

To confuse people. I’m talking like orb of confusion from SpongeBob DEEEUUURrrrrrr.

What is your spirit animal?

A Grizzly Bear due to its temperament and power. Insert the picture I send you on the blog right after this answer while leaving this text in the answer. K

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Who is your favorite mountain man from the early frontier days of the United States? 

Nothing will ever top the adventure Macho Man Randy Savage and Rick Flair took across the rings of America.

What is your greatest fear and why?

The fact that any moment a solar flare could wipe out human existence instantly.

sun-baby-o

That’s a given.

Duck, Duck, Goose?

Only if you take me on a nice date first.

Do you have a nickname and why?

Yes I do. At Augustana I’m just Alex or Anderson, but back in Geneseo I am Manderson. This nickname was given to me my freshman year of high school when I accidently typed an M before the Anderson part of my last name when I was logging in. My friend thought it was hilarious and the name stuck ever since.

What is your favorite book and why?

Any fantasy novel written by R.A. Salvatore. His literature just takes you to another place

What is your favorite movie and why?

This is an ever changing thing for me, but right now it’s Guardians of the Galaxy

Who has the best mustache, Tom Selleck, Burt Reynolds, Ron Swanson, Teddy Roosevelt, or Salvador Dali?

Ron Swanson. All other choices should be changed to Ron Swanson.

Lebron James comes to your house to sell you a poster of you getting dunked on by him, how much is it worth?

Poster of Lebron James dunkin on me: 35$. Poster of Gary Miller dunkin on me in a banana costume: priceless

Who do you fear is really a robot on campus?

Join us Gary.

What do you think the biggest difference is between you now and who you were when you first came to Augustana?

More responsibility that led to more maturity.

Alice Cooper once said, “school’s out for summer, school’s out forever” do you think he should be running an elementary school in Texas? I don’t think he is but I definitely endorse it.

If Alice Cooper needs more money to bring a smile to his face that looks like a painting that got rained on. I don’t see why not.

Would you like to give me a dollar? 

Yes because our friendship cannot be measured by monetary amounts. *80s sitcom awh

What’s the scariest thing about children who live amongst the corn and who do you think walks behind the rows?

Just the fact that they’re scary children scares me. I’m not sure who walks behind the rows.

 

Would you join the Rebel Alliance or the Empire?

Neither I would be a rogue dual welding Jedi that joins for the right price

What is your favorite food?

That’s like asking me who’s my favorite character on It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Psst it’s Charlie.

Who is most likely to eat all the food in the house between you and your roommates?

Aaron Call because coaching with such passion requires fuel.

What famous ruler from history would you most likely make a disparaging remark about on twitter?

Alexander The Great. My tweet would read “Nice name…Idiot”

Who is your favorite artist and why?

Yung Lean. Ridiculous lyrics with THE best production in the game. Sadboys//2001 :’(

Favorite holiday and why?

I’d say Thanksgiving because of the food, family, and football.

Favorite sports team and why?

THE Chicago Bulls. NBA>NHL *locks door

A,B,C,D,E,F, are you a G?

Look up A$AP Rocky- Peso go to 1:28 and that is my answer.

Gatorade or Powerade?

Both! For Gatorade I choose Riptide Rush and Powerade I choose grape.

Favorite type of Oreos

The mint ones are too good

Who shot the deputy?

Ice T then he became a cop.

Which power ranger speaks to you?

Zordon he gives good advice and is just a projection.

John Mayer or John Denver?

A collab of them on my new mixtape its fire

Who is your celebrity crush?

Kate Mara. Would definitely shake her hand.

Where is somewhere you have always wanted to go but haven’t yet?

Colorado because mountains are beautiful and I heard you live in those mountains

Have you studied abroad and if not where?

Junior summer I went to France with the football team. Beautiful place if we weren’t so hung over for all of it.

You have an evil cat (they’re all evil) threatening your life. How you kill it nine times?

Overdose of catnip nine times

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IF you were trapped in the wilds of Alaska with one person to survive the winter who would it be and what item would you bring?

Gary Miller, a GoPro, and necessary survival gear.

What historical figure would you most like to poke on Facebook?

Dwight Eisenhower because my poke would be followed with you were right about the industrial military complex.

I don’t know how Instagram works.

It’s more entertaining if you have infinite disposable income. I believe that’s called “Flexing”

Barry Manilow can make everything better, do you smell what the rock is cooking?

I remember all my life what the rock is cooking. Raining down as cold as ice.

What’s the toughest class you’ve ever had?

Intermediate accounting 1-3 literally aged me with stress.

What did you want to be when you grew up?

Probably something with video game production.

What is your major and minor?

Double Major in Accounting/Finance

Which movie in the Rocky Trilogy has the best fight?

Rocky IV when Ivan Drago kills Apollo Creed. Oh the feels and oh the montages

Billy Elliot can dance, what are your best moves?

Anything dance move made famous by vines.

What are your favorite songs?

Kyoto by Yung Lean Dye- Tycho S/ash- Darius Get Higher- Juicy J

What was your favorite toy as a kid?

I still remember the day I got my original PlayStation the hype was real.

Who do you think is the finest illegal street racer at Augustana?

Me + Nissan GTR R35 answers this question.

What is Greek life like?

  1. The country, not the fraternities and sororities here.
  2. Explain their economic system to me as if I was a four year old.

The country is beautiful and the people are laid back. There current economy is one of the worst in the EU due to the recession of the Euro as a currency. Look at me I went to college and know things blah blah blah. This would all be said to a four year old.

I’ve been coloring lately, what coloring books should I be picking up?

Think outside the box Gary. Don’t use guides of coloring books; instead let your creative madness flow on a blank piece of paper.

I will, thank you. Also, for all you hooligans out there with nothing to do on a Friday.

HEYWIRE SPRING

 

Thank you for reading

 

On the Benefits of Theater

From Katrina: the K-Word. Photo credit: Cam Best Photography

I’ve been doing theater since eighth grade. I spent most of my high school years hidden away in our auditorium rehearsing, building sets, stage managing, assisting the directors or some combination of the two. In the winter, I used to go weeks without seeing the sun–reaching school before the sun rose and leaving after it had set.

In college, I decided to take a bit of a break.

And then last term happened.

I was in ETU’s Winter Mashup with Heywire (Augustana’s only improv group). I was cast in Katrina: The K-Word, an entirely student-driven production led by the members of the Play Production class. I performed in Alpha Psi’s annual production of Eve Ensler’s The Vagina Monologues. And I was part of a group of six wonderful women who performed Any One of Us, a piece born from Ensler’s creative writing workshops with women in prisons, at the Figge Art Museum in Davenport, amid the work of photographer Richard Ross.

Why, you might ask, did I decide to do four performances in five weeks when I was already working on two Senior Inquiries? Honestly, it just sort of happened. The common denominator between all these performances  is social justice. Katrina taught me a lot about what came before and after Hurricane Katrina. We often forget that, long after the cameras have left, people still have to rebuild their lives. The Vagina Monologues, as always, made me think about women’s empowerment. And Any One of Us is a searingly honest piece about what it’s like to be an incarcerated woman and, especially important, what leads to becoming one. ETU always has a few social justice-themed pieces among the mix. I’m very happy that the Augustana community is starting to feel strongly about what’s happening in the nation and the world (the protest in support of Ferguson, the installation in the library about the kidnapped Mexican students and more). I wanted to be a part of that.

But okay, my reasons for having to meet any invitation to hang out with “I have rehearsal,” for sleepless nights and homework begun after 10, for walking across campus in the freezing cold twice every evening instead of staying in my warm house, weren’t entirely noble. I also realized last term that theater of this quality may not be in my life for much longer. Sure, there are community theaters and all kinds of ways to stay involved after I graduate. But being able to work and perform with people who have Masters degrees and PhDs in this stuff, and people who are working their way towards Masters and PhDs, is something I’m incredibly grateful for.

I’m in ETU again and am fortunate enough to have been cast in the spring production of As You Like It. And I’m thinking about pursuing a career in dramaturgy after grad school. All this happened in the last few weeks. And I couldn’t be happier.

 

A Great Weekend to be a Viking!

Wow. This one word summarizes the whole weekend being an Augustana student.

First off, the Augustana Men’s Track Team 4×4 WON at the Indoor Track National Meet with a time of 3:15, just barely winning by :02 seconds. I believe they set a new record for our school as well!

In addition to that FANTASTIC 4×4, Keith Cline finished in sixth place at the National Meet.

So a great weekend for the Men’s Track Team.

But it doesn’t stop there.

The Men’s Basketball team played at home on Friday against The University of Mount Union and won by about 10 points. Then on Saturday, the Augie Men’s Team played and WON a dominating game over Marietta College 100-52 (if I remember correctly.)

The support for the team was awesome and amazing to be a part of. I thoroughly enjoyed standing in the crowd for both games, joining in the antagonizing chants, the cheers, and the celebrations with the victories.

This weekend showed how fantastic and stupendous our school is and makes me feel so honored to be a part of such a great community.

Go Augie!

Augustana People: Jim “Looks Like Adam Devine” Panozzo

 

Before I begin, be on the lookout for casting calls and notices on behalf of SAGA and BSP weekly on this blog. We are looking to do some cool stuff with those groups this term and I would hate for people to miss out because they didn’t know about it.

An example of such a fine opportunity is with Jimmy as he has written a script and it is a fun one. Contact him at jamespanozzo12@augustana.edu or bspaugustana@gmail.com for opportunities in cast, crew, and fun.Bob_Mazooka_Fun_Time_Action_Hour_For_Kids_Part_8

The Spring term at Augustana is about to start and its about time to get to know some fantastic folks here at Augustana. Jimmy Panozzo is a character, a goof ball and a darn good wrestler. He’s a good friend of mine and a huge fan of movies.

Jim has a tradition of watching movies for “Movie Madness Monday”. He’s always down to watch movies with people and help his pals out.

Workaholics' Adam Devine

 

 

 

 

Here’s to Jim, get to know him better.

 

GM: What brought you to Augustana?

JP: wrestling and MIKE T

What advice do you have for incoming Freshmen?

avoid cops and have fun (Like Bob Mazooka and Officer Dick Virginia)

Bob_Mazooka_Fun_Time_Action_Hour_For_Kids_Part_4

What are you involved in on campus?

wrestling, phi omega phi, and black squirrel productions

What are some hidden talents you have?

Reading with my eyes closed, painting with my feet, and being friends with GARY MILLER

What is your spirit animal?

red ant

Who is your favorite mountain man from the early frontier days of the United States?

Grizzly Adams

What is your greatest fear and why?

being afraid because it shows weakness

Duck, Duck, Goose?

Goose, Goose, Geese

 

What is your favorite book and why?

I dont read (or can’t)

What is your favorite movie and why?

Bob Mazooka

Who has the best mustache, Tom Selleck, Burt Reynolds, Ron Swanson, Teddy Roosevelt, or Salvador Dali?

Bob Mazooka

bobby

 

Who do you fear is really a robot on campus?

Who do i fear isnt a robot on campus

What do you think the biggest difference is between you now and who you were when you first came to Augustana?

Puberty happened

Alice Cooper once said, “school’s out for summer, school’s out forever” do you think he should be running an elementary school in Texas? I don’t think he is but I definitely endorse it.

Alice Cooper is a liar and I hated him ever since I had to go back to school.

Would you like to give me a dollar?

L O L

What’s the scariest thing about children who live amongst the corn and who do you think walks behind the rows?

They have boots and ghosts

Would you join the Rebel Alliance or the Empire?

the Empire

What is your favorite food?

Chicken sandwich

Who is most likely to eat all the food in the house between you and your roommates?

Frank Hollo

What famous ruler from history would you most likely make a disparaging remark about on twitter?

JFK (Jimmy Frederick Kline, noted inventor of the toaster strudel)

Who is your favorite artist and why?

Picasso and have you seen his work

Favorite holiday and why?

Halloween because i get to hide this mug

Favorite sports team and why?

Da Bears because they are ferocious

 

Favorite type of Oreos

Original

Who shot the deputy?

I am the Deputy

 

 

John Mayer or John Denver?

Im waiting on the world to change

Who is your celebrity crush?

John Mayer

Where is somewhere you have always wanted to go but haven’t yet?

Australia

Have you studied abroad and if not where?

I want to go to Nicaragua

 

IF you were trapped in the wilds of Alaska with one person to survive the winter who would it be and what item would you bring?

Gary Miller and a Chinese Finger Knot

What historical figure would you most like to poke on Facebook?

Big Bad John

I don’t know how Instagram works.

Thats why I dont have one

 

What did you want to be when you grew up?

Dentist

What is your major and minor?

Pre-Dent / Bio

Which movie in the Rocky Trilogy has the best fight?

Original

Billy Elliot can dance, what are your best moves?

Classified

What are your favorite songs?

Who let the dogs out and anything by Aaron Carter

What was your favorite toy as a kid?

My stuffed animal raccoon named squirrelly

 

 

 

Your Ideas, They will Make Wonderful Fodder

 

 

Black Squirrel Productions will be shooting a rambunctious amount of films, wigwams, jiggerdoodles, flim flams, and wangedoodles this Spring. We are looking for scripts and proposals by the end of this term.

  • The set deadline for scripts and proposed projects is Sunday February 22nd, 2015 at 12 AM midnight.
  • If you have a great idea send it in to BSPaugustana@gmail.com in a word document.
  • All your ideas are good.
  • There will be a casting call for actors/extras/marketers/promoters/etc.

I don’t often get the opportunity to say, “you don’t want to miss this,” outside of pepper spraying myself for the amusement of my loved ones, but this is a one way ticket to fun town that has to be punched by your enthusiastic involvement. Even if you’re not enthusiastic about having a good time and you’re a brooding artistic type with a steam pile of baggage and personal demons, come along! giphy

Augustana People: Natalie “It goes in the oven an hour before company arrives” Lamy

Natalie Hamy is a smart cookie. A dozen bakers couldn’t equal her genius. I was once tutored in a psychology class by Natalie and quickly found out that she was my Obi Wan in that discipline. I was fortunate enough to get some questions answered back by a list of people and she happened to be one.   Schinken

 

Get to know her.

GM: What brought you to Augustana?

NL: My Spanish teacher in high school went here and it literally one of two schools I applied to that I visited. Never even took a tour, just hoped it was the right choice

giphy

 

What advice do you have for incoming Freshmen?

Welcome to high school part two! But really, Augie is great and you should take advantage of all the things you can get involved in here

What are you involved in on campus?

Delta Chi Theta sorority, Greek Council executive board, Student Alumni Council executive board, and I work in the registrar’s office

Duck, Duck, Goose?

Wasn’t there something about a pickle jar in that game?

What is your favorite movie and why?

The Nightmare Before Christmas has and will forever be my favorite movie

Would you like to give me a dollar?

Nothing in life is free Gar…

Favorite holiday and why?

Halloween because who doesn’t love watching cheesy scary movies and dressing up?

menz

A,B,C,D,E,F, are you a G?

Is this even a real question (YES)

Favorite type of Oreos

Double stuffed and in ice cream or no deal

Which power ranger speaks to you?

The pink one

Who is your celebrity crush?

Do you count as a celebrity Garbear? [;

archer

 

Have you studied abroad and if not where?

I haven’t studied abroad but I did spend my summer in an international bioethics program at Yale University so that was pretty cool

I don’t know how Instagram works.

The more likes you get the stronger your selfie game is

What is your major and minor?

Psychology major and I am an minoring in Ethics and Communication Studies. I want to go to law school after I graduate from Augie

Billy Elliot can dance, what are your best moves?

Unfortunately I cannot ballet dance like Billy Elliot but that movie is the greatest

Will you enjoy a glass of lemonade from me, it is only a nickel and I need to help pay off tuition.

I’ll give you TWO nickels just because I like ya

 

 

Thanks Nat, and thanks for reading.

No Money, No Problem

 

Being bored as a young man with little expendable funds warrants creativity.  If necessity is the mother of invention, boredom is the milkman. Days gone by of smacking a piñata with a blindfold as my friends celebrated the bleeding out of our favorite cartoon characters danced like the Vikettes in my head. The memories I decided to make my own piñata using little more than a discarded box and Kraft cheese, the candy of people who have given up on nourishing their taste buds. All I needed was a stick to bludgeon  and a way to cover my face as I hate cheating more than Bill Belichick (allegedly) loves getting away with it. I looked for a blindfold and found nothing. The thought of using an old shirt crossed my mind until the hoarder in me felt the need to save each terrible shirt I wouldn’t  wear to a cross fit workout with the neighborhood Mommery in tow.

 

“Pink shirt with trout singing karaoke on the front. I’ll need you.”

“Gym shirt from 8th grade, I might run into Mrs. Fredricksen, she was smoking back then. I’m now of age. She might remember my scent. The scent of manhood. Keep it, tiger.”

“Shirt your ex-girlfriend left over, why do you still have this? Wait, it has a sweet zebra on the front. Cut the sleeves off and claim you’re wearing it ironically even though everyone knows you dig Chris Rock’s performance in Madagascar one, two, and three and the coming fourth one won’t disappoint you!”

The black trash bags in the kitchen would suffice as blindfolds, as for a  bludgeoning stick. My noggin would do more than fine. It houses my brain, a thinking machine unfit for a monkey.

Time to play.

 

 

 

afsfas

The first attempt ended worse than intended. Instead of being bombarded with cheese candy I was met with the stern refusal of  reward known as the wall. I woke up in a state of confusion, lacking sufficient oxygen, and vision.

Attempt number two is made.

fsaaas

 

Second attempt did not go as well, ended up thinking pants were on fire. Turns out I am not a liar or a smart man.

Game off. I decided to do homework instead, going to college will eventually make me smart and worthy of the American workforce.

WIN_20150102_073757

Augustana People: Alissa “Greek Chariot” Leirer

Alissa Leirer is an ear

of corn.

She’s a blissful day on the beach yelling at kids to quit stealing beer out of the cooler.

She’s a centaur shooting arrows into a crowd of satyrs.

She’s a jam filled peanut butter and rowdy sandwich.

And she wants young prospective men, women, children, and the like to rush Greek.

Lets get to know her.

alissa leirer

 

 

GM: What brought you to Augustana?

AL:I came to Augustana because my older sister attended and loved it. I also was drawn to the CSD department.

What advice do you have for incoming Freshmen?

Your time here at Augustana goes by so fast. Cherish every moment of it, do as much as you can, and make sure every moment here counts. These are some of the best years of your life.

What are you involved in on campus?

I am a Co-Recruitment Chair for Greek Council, and am the Vice President for my sorority. I am also a member of ASSHA.

10405228_10205742967162520_6491232583720265769_n

 

Who has the best mustache, Tom Selleck, Burt Reynolds, Ron Swanson, Teddy Roosevelt, or Salvador Dali?

Salvador Dali of course!

salvador-dali2

fs

fs

Would you like to give me a dollar?

Anything for you Gary.

What is your favorite food?

I could eat mashed potatoes every day.

A,B,C,D,E,F, are you a G?

Duh

Who shot the deputy?

I shot the sheriff but I didn’t kill the deputy

Have you studied abroad and if not where?

I’ll be headed to Guatemala for Spring Break!

I don’t know how Instagram works.

Figure it out

What is your major and minor?

I am a CSD major and Psychology minor

Will you enjoy a glass of lemonade from me, it is only a nickel and I need to help pay off tuition.

Only if it’s made with love

ALL I DO IS LOVE

ALL I DO IS LOVE

I’ve been coloring lately, what coloring books should I be picking up?

Disney princesses

 

MiryuuChan

I’m sure she’d yank my ear and beat me if I didn’t tell you to sign up for LA RUSH.

“Sign ups are from 11-2pm and again 6pm-11pm this week through Thursday!”- Lissa Lynne, Facebook avatar of Alissa Leirer.

Thanks for reading.